


Water Under the Bridge

by orphan_account



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Regina Mills Week, F/M, Minor Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Mostly Canon Compliant, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 16:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13415628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Outlaw Queen, written for Bisexual Regina Mills Week Day Five, following the prompt favorite f/m pairing, in which Regina urges Robin to choose as he struggles with the balance between his first love and his true love.





	Water Under the Bridge

**Author's Note:**

> Marian is actually Marian and not Zelena. Shattered Sight doesn’t happen. I tweaked some details… Anyway, it's mostly canon. Contains sideline Swan Queen angst! I couldn't help myself.
> 
> This is my first OQ fic! I’ve never even read one before so I’m nervous af about this. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Inspired by “Water Under the Bridge” by Adele

“Regina, I’d like you to meet someone.”

It happened so fast and yet so slow, the way that this stranger smiled at her next to Emma, the way Regina smiled back,  _ genuinely _ . It no longer took her any effort to be friendly, the progress she’d made to leave her evil side behind was so far along, she could hardly remember what it felt like to conjure up a fireball with the intention of incinerating someone.

But then,

“Marian?”

Robin gaped at the stranger, calling her by the name Regina recognized as the name of his former wife. Her heart cracked inside her chest, the fire of her love for him moved from its place in her chest to dance in her fingertips, and as she watched Robin and his first love reunite, she realized that she  _ couldn’t _ do this. Within seconds she was outside, her head in her hands and hoping no one followed her.

Of course Emma did.

“It wasn’t on purpose. I never wanted to destroy your happy ending…” Regina turned to lock eyes with Emma, surprised at the genuine guilt within them. Whatever the two of them had was complicated, and if Regina didn’t know any better, she would say that everything about Marian’s arrival pointed to the moments she and Emma had shared before Regina decided to give fate’s version of true love a chance.

But at the base of it all, Emma cared about her, and Regina knew she was sincere in her apology. “I know, Emma, it’s just…” She shook her head. It was an endless cycle, really, leaving someone for another, and for that reason, she couldn’t talk to the blonde about it. 

Love wasn’t always as simple as a  _ feeling _ , sometimes it boiled down to a choice. 

Soulmates or not, the universe wasn’t kind enough to let two people fall in love with each other and  _ only  _ each other and let that be that, no matter what the Charmings had to say about it.

“It’s complicated,” Regina finished, and Emma nodded, stepping back as if to leave, but as she did, Robin was running out of Granny’s, tugging Marian behind him, telling her about Regina “not being so bad.” Marian argued back, pulling the  _ Evil Queen  _ card, and Regina had to actively stop the ball of fire starting up beneath the surface of her palm.

Robin and Emma both looked uncomfortably between Marian and Regina, and the Charmings were suddenly there defending Regina’s morality, and it was too much. “We’ll talk about this later, okay?” She said, turning to Robin, whose hand grasped hers, holding her in place long enough to place a gentle kiss against her cheek.

Her heart raced as she fought back a blush. Robin grinned at her like there was nothing wrong, but Marian gaped in horror, clearly having missed a major detail about Robin’s life in Storybrooke, and Regina turned with a scoff to walk down the sidewalk.

Now was not the time for magic.

Let them see how she’d changed.

Let that sink in.

\-----

_ Complicated _ .

The word followed her home, into her dreams, and onwards into the next day. 

It almost kept her from leaving the house, and she really wasn’t going to, until she realized there was no more coffee, and that just wasn’t going to do. 

So she went to Granny’s. 

The first person she saw was Emma, who’s eyes went wide as she turned away and headed to the bathroom. Regina pretended she didn’t notice.

“Regina?”

With a heavy sigh, she turned to see Robin, standing behind her with that puppy dog expression, and she just  _ melted _ . “Robin…” He touched his fingers gently to her cheek, but pulled away, aware that everyone in the diner knew of his predicament. 

Just yesterday, they would have been making out at the counter, smiling against each other’s lips and ignoring Granny’s pointed comments about “even true love has its limits for PDA.”

But today, it was a casual touch and a step back that felt like two.

“Can we talk?”

Robin motioned as if he was going to sit next to her, but she couldn’t talk about this  _ here _ . She held out her hand to stop him. “Meet me in my vault,” she said under her breath. “Twenty minutes.” 

_ She _ was there in twenty  _ seconds _ , breaking apart the moment she felt the stagnant air of the mausoleum around her. She spent those twenty minutes as best as she could, trying to regain her composure, making speeches to herself in the mirror, flip-flopping between “I’m  _ good _ now, and I think you need to forget me and be with your wife” and “I’m inherently evil and think morals are a waste of both our energies.” 

By the time Robin walked in, she didn’t know which to say, and when he pulled her close to him, a hand on her waist, the other wrapping around her shoulders, all she could do was let out a sob into his shoulder and say, “I hate this.”

He held her closer, as if somehow being this close could keep him from falling apart too. Eventually she could hear his light cries in the silence of the vault, and she couldn’t decide if she wanted to keep him in her arms forever or push him away before it could get any worse.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered.

His heart was torn, but Regina was the one that could feel the tearing.

“Me neither.”

\-----

Things  _ did _ worse. Marian fell under a spell, freezing her from the outside in while she was forced into slumber by the same curse, oblivious to the threat. 

Robin was quick to protect her, urgently fighting for her life while she couldn’t do it herself. “She can’t die, I… Roland needs his mother.”

Regina swallowed hard, fighting her emotions back at his almost word choice. “Of course,” she said, even though the pull Robin felt towards Marian was not lost on her. He looked up, his eyes pleading with her for Marian’s life  _ and _ for her love. It was too much in one look. She forced her eyes away from his. “I’m going to save her.”

“Thank you,” he said, turning to brush Marian’s hair from her face, but his hand hesitated, and he stood up to face Regina, to tuck a strand of her hair as if he hadn’t just been about to do the same for his wife. 

Their eyes met, and Regina saw it. The love he had for her, further away than it had been before Marian’s return. She almost squinted to see it, but caught herself and smiled to cover it up. He noticed.

“Regina?”

“Hmm?” She asked, trying to appear casual.

He shook his head, actually squinting, and Regina almost laughed at the irony. “Are you alright?”

“I…” she started, regarding him carefully before she let her eyes flicker down to Marian, knocked out cold on the couch. “Don’t stretch your heart too thin, Robin.”

“Regina, I don’t understand what you mean. You know I love you, and Marian…”

“... is your wife,” she finished. “She’ll always have a place in your heart, but you can’t try to make us both fit in a spot in which you only have room for one.” He blinked at her, like what she was saying was only starting to make sense to him. “Just… let me know?” She spared a tight smile for him as she walked past him to leave.

“Regina?” he stopped her, his voice vulnerable. She turned without a word. “Are you asking me to leave you?”

It was painful, hearing the words leave his mouth. She was asking him to  _ choose _ , but his projection made her wish she hadn’t spoken at all.

“Make a decision, Robin.”

\-----

In her vault, she figured out that one way to save Marian’s life was True Love’s Kiss because  _ of course it was _ . 

She didn’t think she could bear to tell Robin, so she took a picture of her findings and texted it to him. She groaned when he called her only moments later, thinking she should have known better.

“If you can’t figure out how to open the picture, there are plenty of people you can ask--”

“That’s not why I’m calling.” Regina sighed, waiting for him to continue. “It won’t work.”

The brunette scoffed into the phone, “What? How do you know?”

“I’m in love with someone else.”

“Don’t say that,” Regina whispered into the phone.

“Why not? It’s true. Regina, I… where are you?”

She laughed, “Does it matter?”

“Just hang on a moment,” Robin said, hanging up the phone. Without his voice on the other end, Regina expected the space around her to feel even more lonely, but it felt the same, another sign that fate wasn’t on her side. 

As if she needed one.

\-----

Robin appeared at her crypt not long after the phone call ended, and she huffed as she stood to turn away from him. She didn’t want to hear it. “Regina, wait,” he said, reaching out for her. She turned immediately, unable to stop the draw she had to him. “Let me explain.”

She was prepared to demand what he needed to explain, to tell him that there was nothing to talk about because he  _ shouldn’t _ be in love with the former Evil Queen, he should be in love with his  _ wife _ , but before she could utter a word, his lips were on hers, moving fervently, and she lost all thought as she returned the kiss.

Her heart pounded as his fingers weaved into her hair to pull her closer. She parted her lips to deepen the kiss, and she moaned when she tasted him on her tongue, tugging him against her as she fisted his jacket. Robin’s hands roamed down her arms and her waist to her ass, and in a dizzy haze, Regina forced herself to pull away. 

“Robin… What does this mean?”

“It means that I love you…”

Regina shook her head, biting her lower lip, “No, in regards to Marian… what does this mean? If there’s no other way to save her…”

“You’re smart, Regina. I know you’ll find a way.”

“That’s part of the problem. What are you going to do when she wakes up? Is walking in here and kissing me only easy because she isn’t  _ really _ here?”

Robin’s mouth opened, closing again as he shook his head, “It isn’t like that, Regina…”

“Isn’t it?”

“Why can’t you let this happen?”

Regina swallowed, looking into his eyes. Before, they had been bright, glowing, all for her, but now they carried pain and the weight of an impossible decision. She couldn’t ignore that look, and it was unlikely she would ever forget it.

“I want this. I want  _ you _ ,” Robin said, kissing Regina once more.

She let herself smile against him. Maybe she could let this happen. Maybe she could have her happy ending. As they pulled apart, he gave her another smile, bright once again,  _ almost _ like it used to be.

“I’m going to check on Marian. Let me know if you find anything else.”

“You too,” Regina whispered to his back as he ascended the steps.

\-----

Just as Robin believed, she found another way to save Marian, and it worked. He was ecstatic, and Marian was too, although she was a little hesitant, curiously observing Robin like she could tell something was off. 

“I’ll give you two some time alone,” Regina said as she stepped from the room. She went to Granny’s, hoping that a talk between the two of them would make some kind of difference, but it didn’t.

When Robin stopped by to update her on Marian’s progress, his eyes were more conflicted than ever, and Regina didn’t understand why he couldn’t just make up his mind. If he would rather go back to Marian, then he should. He didn’t need to spare her feelings.

She smiled, telling him she was happy for him. He spared her a kiss, despite the crowd at Granny’s, and when he left to take Marian to the camp to see their son, she noticed that most of the looks shot her way were those of pity rather than judgement.

“You okay?” Emma asked, suddenly next to her.

Regina sighed. She normally wouldn’t open up to Emma like this, but the words were leaving her mouth before she could stop them. She didn’t know what else to do with them anyways. “I just don’t understand. Why can’t he just leave me for her and be done with it?” As soon as she asked, she knew it was the wrong thing to say.

Emma cleared her throat, looking down at her hands. “It’s not an easy decision for all of us,” she muttered. “We can’t all be you.” She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head, “Sorry, that wasn’t fair. You weren’t… I should go.”

Regina opened her mouth to say something,  _ anything _ , an apology or an explanation, but Emma was gone before she got the chance. So she ordered a shot instead, closing her eyes downing it just before she felt someone at her side again. “Emma, I’m sorry, I--”

“Not Emma...” Her eyes opened in surprise, turning to see Marian at the counter next to her. “But if this seat is taken, I can…” she trailed off, gesturing around the dining room.

“No, it’s not. You can sit there,” Regina said. She was tempted to buy another shot in advance, thinking that after this conversation she would need one too.

“Look,” Marian started, “I know we’ve gotten off to a bad start…  _ twice _ , but I want this time to be the exception. I want us to be friends.”

Regina scoffed, “I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Anything is possible, Regina. I know that things are… complicated. I want a lot of things. I’d love to have my family back, like it used to be, but I don’t want Robin to be with me  _ just _ because of Roland. I want him to be happy, even if that means him being with someone else.”

Regina’s head spun to look at Marian, shocked by the direction this conversation was headed. “Even if it means him choosing you.” Marian smiled softly, laughing a little as she said, “It’s still hard to get used to,  _ not  _ thinking of you as  _ the Evil Queen _ , but it doesn’t matter, even if you were still that person… Robin loves you.”

“Does he?” Regina asked, the uncertainty in her voice didn’t get by Marian, but the other woman dismissed her question to ask another of her own.

“You love him, don’t you?”

“Yes…”

“Then let yourself. Don’t let me get in the way.” She gave Regina’s arm a friendly squeeze as she stood up. “I wish you both the best.”

Regina left shorty after, deciding not to order another shot.  _ Maybe _ , she thought again.

\-----

She was in the same place the next morning, at the counter in Granny’s, when Robin found her. “I’ve just spoke with Marian,” he said, a wide grin on his face. “She thinks I need to choose you.”

Regina’s heart skipped a beat painfully. “And what do  _ you _ think?”

“I think I agree,” he said, smiling bright, like he was so sure. There was still a trace of  _ something _ in his eyes, and before she could figure out what it was, their lips were crashing together, all passion and no doubt, and Regina let herself fall into it once again as his lips made her believe. 

She heard the catcalls when the broke apart, and the both shyly grinned at the breakfast crowd in the diner. “Let me walk you to work,” Robin said, taking Regina’s hand as they left Granny’s. The walk was so pleasant that Regina thought this  _ just might  _ work out.  _ Maybe _ she could finally have her happy ending.

But that small smidge of  _ something _ was still in Robin’s eyes when they went their separate ways, and it bothered her for the rest of the day until he came sprinting back into her office, going on about  _ the book _ and  _ a missing page _ .

“Woah, woah, Robin. Slow down. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Before Marian came back, you showed me Henry’s book, remember? It showed you walking away from me at the pub…”

“What about it?”

“Well, I know you have your doubts about us, Regina. I know it’s  _ complicated _ because fate bound us together but seems to always push us apart, and now I know why.” Regina’s brow furrowed as Robin rummaged through his rucksack, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “This. This is the answer we’ve been looking for,” he said as he passed her the paper. “A missing page.”

She took it from him, their fingers brushing before she pulled her hand back and slowly unfolded the paper. She gasped when she saw what the page contained. A picture of her and Robin, together, in the pub on the day they should have met, kissing and sealing their fate,  _ together, _ once and for all. “What is this?”

“It’s the missing page!”

Regina shook her head, “There isn’t a missing page.” She turned back to the book, resting on her desk and opened it. “This says it’s page twenty-three, but… There’s already a page twenty-three. Here,” she said, pointing to the picture of her walking away from the pub, from Robin. “I don’t understand.”

“Regina, this is good. Don’t you see? This shows  _ possibility _ .  _ Anything _ can happen, Regina. We don’t have to be bound by fate. We have options,” Robin explained, freely giddy by his analysis of the situation. It was the brightest his eyes had been since Marian’s return, that trace of  _ something _ unidentifiable.

But with each word Regina saw the truth.

Robin couldn’t  _ choose _ . Not really. He believed so strongly in the concept of possibilities that he wanted to see them all, to go against an  _ absolute _ fate like the one that was written for him.

“Robin...” Regina started. She was going to tell him to leave her. To go be with Marian and reunite their family. That if he didn’t believe in the fate that bound them together, then he should make a real decision and not one that the universe made  _ for _ him.

But his phone rang, and she held her tongue.

\-----

Marian was in trouble. The spell that was freezing her had come back with a vengeance, and with no other options, Marian would have to cross the town line and get herself to safety. “The magic won’t affect her outside of Storybrooke. If she leaves, she’ll return to normal health,” Regina reassured them, looking behind her to Emma and the Charmings for confirmation.

“She’s right,” Mary Margaret said.

“But… Roland,” Marian managed to say through her violent shivers. 

“He should go with you. He should be with his mother,” Robin said, tearing up at the idea of the separation, but it was for the best.

Regina took in a breath. Her words from earlier were back, tying in with the new circumstance, but as she thought about them, she wished they didn’t need to be spoken. “Robin, you have to go with them.”

“No,” Robin said, shaking his head and grasping her hands in hers. “I can’t leave you. Not after everything, not after what we found. I’m staying,” he said, bringing their lips together for a kiss, ignoring everyone else in the room. Regina felt the tears burning behind her eyes as they pulled apart.

_ I don’t want this. I don’t want him to go. _

“She can’t go alone. She’s new to this world. There are too many things she won’t understand.” Her heart broke as she watched Robin’s eyes go between hers and Marian’s, working through the possibilities.

_ The possibilities. _

_ Her possibility. _

_ I want you to stay _ , she almost said, but she bit her tongue.

“But, maybe… maybe someone else could…” Robin started, fighting for the very thing Regina wouldn’t allow herself to.

“No, you have to go, Robin. It’s the only way.” Her voice cracked and she looked to the floor, embarrassed and emotional and lost.

“I know a place you can stay,” Emma said, quietly shuffling through her bag to hand Robin a set of keys. “The address is on there. It’s Neal’s old place. So you won’t be homeless.”

“Thank you, Emma,” Regina said, giving the blonde a tight smile, but Emma avoided Regina’s gaze, stepping back, boots scuffing lightly against the floor.

“Thank you,” Robin said. “How much time do we have?” he asked, looking back to Marian.

“Not long. Maybe an hour. We should go.” Regina turned to leave, but Robin grabbed her arm, urging her to stay just a moment longer. His eyes met hers and they were full, the way they used to look, like he saw her and  _ only _ her, not the Evil Queen, not Marian, just  _ her _ . She pressed her palms to his cheeks and leaned in.

This kiss was brief but powerful. Everything a True Love’s Kiss should be, and for a moment, Regina felt so much magic stirring up between them that she thought it might break Marian’s curse, but nothing seemed to break except her heart as she realized once more,

_ I don’t want you to go _ .

But she had to rise above it.

She had to let him go.

\-----

She made it to the town line in one piece, though she could feel herself splitting at the seams. As long as they didn’t talk about it, she was sure she could get through this.

The Charmings had pulled her to the side before they set out. “Are you sure you don’t want one of us to go with you?” Snow asked. “Me, or Emma?” 

“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine,” Regina had said, giving the three of them the same fake smile she was prepared to wear for the next few months. 

But now that she stood at the line with Robin and his family, she wished she had asked someone to be there with her, even if it was just Emma. When they crossed the line, she would be alone. Thinking about it now, she presumed it would be unbearable, watching them walk away with no one for her to turn to.

“Alright. You have everything, don’t you?” Regina asked. 

Robin nodded, “The keys, money, a map...”

“If you keep walking straight, you’ll get to a diner. From there you’ll be able to figure out transport to New York.”

“Tell Emma “thank you,” again, please.”

“I will.”

“Regina?” Marian spoke. Regina turned her attention to the shivering woman, but as she started to speak, she huddled over in pain.

“You’re running out of time. If you don’t go now…”

Marian nodded, mouthing a  _ thank you _ to Regina before turning to Robin. 

“I’ll be right there,” Robin reassured her, easing his wife and son to the line. He and Regina watched them cross, Marian suddenly becoming free from the curse, picking up Roland to happily spin him around. 

_ They look so happy _ .

“They do,” Robin said, startling Regina. She hadn’t realized she’d spoken out loud. “I want you to be happy too, Regina.” 

She shook her head.  _ She couldn’t talk about this _ . She said she wouldn’t. “Robin,” she said. Her voice betrayed her, but his lips stopped it from continuing, desperately crashing onto hers. For a moment, all she could feel was her longing and his reciprocation, his hands in her hair and her hands gripping his arms, his lips against hers, confident and so  _ so  _ loving.

He pulled away before she was ready, taking a wide step back. Their hands stayed together as long as possible, and the last thing she heard leave his lips was a gentle, “I love you,” before he passed the line and she could no longer feel his hand in hers.

“I love you too,” she whispered to him as he stared at the space where he  _ should _ see her, but of course, he can’t see anything. He waited a moment to turn away, and when he did, Marian sent a sympathetic smile in Regina’s direction. It strengthened Regina a little, unexpectedly. Because she could see that it was the right choice, even if her heart told her otherwise.


End file.
